Welcome to Becoming Moken

The Unfolding of a Woman In Process

Artwork by Moken Marsai | www.mawuart.com

When I was twelve years old, I made the very conscious decision to start journaling. I loved the idea of writing about what I thought was my very fascinating pre-teen life. Growing up, I was eager to learn about who my parents were before they became parents; sadly, they had very little evidence of their pre-adult lives. I was determined not to let my future children suffer that fate. So, I became obsessed with documenting any moment I deemed special.

Writing helped me to do that.

A little over two decades later, I still use journaling to introspect and document my life. It is where I work out my shame, sadness and insecurities, write my prayers to God, and pen love notes to my most recent crush. Each journal is like a chapter in my life. It’s always interesting what I find when I re-read old entries. Sometimes, I’m reminded of a lesson I had forgotten. Or, I’m given the opportunity to reflect on how far I’ve come. I may see a prayer answered or be shown a part of me that I lost.

I’ve been yearning to share more deeply the current transformation I am undergoing. How my thoughts on life have evolved, and what I’m learning. There’s something healing about being vulnerable on the page. Where some find fear, I find freedom. There’s healing in being witnessed by even one soul who came across your words and saw themselves in each paragraph.

‘Ego Death 001’by Moken Marsai ‘23

Despite this, I found a block whenever I tried to establish any form of writing practice around this stage of my life. I couldn’t turn off my marketing and branding brain and just write. What would I call this blog/newsletter/whatever? What will the logo look like? When will it launch? What’s the strategy? It had to be better than anything I had done before. I felt pressured to release a curated masterpiece showcasing the best writing I had ever done. As the thoughts multiplied, overwhelm hit, and I was deep in a pit of writer’s block.

Lately, I’ve been stepping out of my comfort zone and doing things I never thought I would do. Embracing the energy of the fool and leaping into new territory. Getting out of my head. I don’t want to spend my life talking about the things I want to do, I want to live. At the end of the day, none of the things I was worried about mattered. I’m a writer, and I need to write. It is the simple truth of who I am and have always been at my core.

I’m learning to make room for myself in my life. Something I hope to share more here. 'Becoming Moken’ is a personal expression of my life as it unfolds. Think of it as a visual journal.

I hope my reflections will help anyone who reads this to reflect on their journey. It is a public commitment to honour my writing practice and to share my gift of introspection with those who need it. It’s been almost 7-years since I had a consistent writing practice, and people still come up to me and talk about how those blogs impacted them. I have to believe that means something.

I’m looking forward to sharing this journey with you.

Joyfully,

Moken Marsai