Unbecoming is a limited series where I explore what it means to let go of who I thought I had to be—the hustle, the pressure, the expectations—to find peace, joy, and identity on my own terms.
In this first episode of Unbecoming, I share a deeply personal exploration of what it means to find solace in a season of no income. After leaving my corporate job and a long-term relationship, I found myself in a space of uncertainty, financial instability, and unexpected rest. This episode is a tender unpacking of how I’m learning to navigate guilt, shame, societal expectations, and internalized pressure around productivity. I open up about the challenges of receiving support, confronting my fears around stillness, and slowly redefining my worth beyond titles, output, or financial contribution.
Key Takeaways
Rest is not laziness. Even when it doesn’t result in visible output or income, rest is sacred and necessary for healing.
Receiving is a skill. Learning to accept help without guilt or shame has been one of the hardest and most healing lessons of this season.
Capitalism deeply shapes our sense of worth. The pressure to monetize every talent or interest can strip away joy and authenticity.
Unlearning productivity as identity takes time. Letting go of the need to prove my worth through doing has been a gradual and ongoing journey.
Peace is personal. True peace might look like indulging in hobbies, reclaiming your space, or enjoying creativity without needing public validation.
Creativity doesn't have to be capitalized. I'm learning to enjoy creative expression simply because it brings me joy, not because it makes money.
Family support can be a form of grace. I’m recognizing the unconditional care from my family, especially my mother, as a source of deep healing.
There is no timeline for healing. Rebuilding a life that feels authentic doesn’t follow a linear path, and that’s okay.
Reflection
If you’re on a similar path, I invite you to take some time to reflect on these questions:
What internal or external beliefs shape how you view rest and productivity?
Where in your life are you being invited to pause, and are you willing to listen?
What fears come up when you consider choosing peace over performance?
How can you begin to receive support without feeling like a burden?
What would it look like to create just for yourself, without an audience or outcome in mind?
Are there old stories about success or worthiness that you’re ready to release?
How might you reframe joy as something that deserves space, even if it produces nothing tangible?
What might grace look like in your current season?
There’s no roadmap for this kind of season — only the courage to keep showing up with honesty and softness. I’m learning that unbecoming isn’t about falling apart, but making space for what’s more true. If you’re here, thank you for witnessing this with me. I hope these questions offer you a place to land, even if just for a moment.
If you’d like to ensure posts from Unbecoming are delivered straight to your inbox, go to becomingmoken.substack.com/account and toggle on Limited Series.
Unbecoming goes live every Friday until September 19, 2025. I hope you’ll join me again next week.
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