ISSUE 004: Monday Mewd | Feeling Awkward

Feb 17, 2025

MONDAY MEWD is a glimpse into my life beyond meticulously crafted essays. Each week, I share candid personal reflections, life updates and recommendations.

Mewd (noun)

A mood, vibe, or feeling that's uniquely personal, often expressed through creative or spontaneous means. It's that energy you're riding with, whether it's a chill, carefree moment or a burst of inspiration. Mewd can capture everything from music playlists to personal style, art, and even attitude. It's fluid, ever-changing, and deeply tied to one's state of being in the moment.

Feeling | It’s Giving Second Puberty

Is there any scientific research that corroborates the occurrence of a second puberty in your 30s? If you’re researching this topic please come to the front. I need some answers.

The best way I can describe what I’m experiencing right now is an emotional growth spurt and navigating it has been awkward at best. Oftentimes struggling to find the language to describe precisely what I’m thinking or feeling. It is as if my vocabulary is no longer in sync with my intellect. I’m in the awkward growth stage between the woman I was and the woman I am becoming, and more often than not the delineation between the two isn’t clear.

Reading | The Kiss Quotient Book Series

Love is in the air and I’ve been getting my fill with Helen Haong’s nuero-spicy romance series The Kiss Quotient! The first book, which bears the same moniker as the series, follows Stella an autistic woman who hires an escort to explore intimacy with other people.¹This storyline is my favourite so far in the entire series. I could relate to Stella’s internal dialogue around intimacy and I appreciated how her analytical approach to love. Her character reminded me a lot of myself. This book is also the reason why I now have an official book boyfriend list, where Michael, Stella’s love interest, is placed at the very top (for now). I also read the second book in the series, The Bride Test. I did get through it, but I found the pacing to be too slow for my taste. It’s too soon in the third book to determine how I feel about it. This adventure into the romantic fantasy is exactly what I needed.

Listening | Beats & Bops

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been experimenting with a different songwriting method. Listening to instrumentals, as I work out the mechanics for a new song. The direction of the song is still unclear but I do have a melody that I feel pretty comfortable with. ^_^

Also, I have Feel It Still performed by Sophia Carson on repeat since I watched Purple Hearts on Netflix a few weeks ago.

Contemplating | Short-Term Romances

Reading all those spicy novels, had me thinking of finding a “love” of my own. It is a thought I entertain from time to time but I’m feeling so much more softness around the idea of dating. I see it as a great opportunity to work through my reservations through low-pressure engagements. Yes. I have watched the TikTok compilations of dating horror stories.

Affirming

Taking care of myself is not a waste of time or energy.

IN V.S. OUT - FEBRUARY

What’s in this month?

Home organisation hacks
Quality time with family
Spicy romance books
Long chats with old friends
Trusting my intuition
Puzzles

What’s out this month?

Negative self-talk
Over-committing
Comparing my progress

FROM THE STACK

My favourite Substack reads lately.

it was when i was younger, when i was flat. we like to think we’ve always been interesting, but there’s an inherent flatness to youth. when we’re young, we always think we’re smarter than we are, cooler than we are, more interesting than we are.clever only in our delusions, as we’re passing notes with thoughts and feelings the women before us have already penned. as we transition into womanhood, we look back at girlhood lovingly embarrassed at our arrogance. because we know, now. now that we are older, undulating women